The Somewhat Irreverent Musings of a Fantasy Football Addict

By: Brian Waterkotte

Week 7

Hello, Im Brian, I’m 40 years old, and I’m an addict.  It’s Week 6 of the 2011-12 NFL season.

The scene:  I’m in my basement, I have three TVs on (AFC game on the right, NFC on the left, and the Red Zone in the middle).  I’ve got my laptop on my desk with the dual monitor going so I have all 4 fantasy games at a glance.  I’ve got my ice cold Heineken bottle on my right, and my cheese dip to my left.  I’m ready baby!  LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

Each week, I’ll watch all the games and hopefully have an interesting take on the things going on.  I’ll let you be the judge of that.  And I’m going to try to keep it to 1200 words.  Without further ado...

The Bears in London look good, despite Jay Cutler’s 19.6 QB rating in the first half.

The TB Bucs haven’t run the ball in 17 straight plays.  When did Mike Martz start calling plays for the Bucs?

What happened to the Redskins?  They looked good in the beginning of the season.  Is it Shannahan?  Do players just stop believing in him?  Maybe it was Olindo Mare’s 5 FGs that did it.

Fantasy or no fantasy, can you think of a game with less pizzazz than Cleveland vs. Seattle?  I thought this was going to be dullsville when I saw it on the schedule.  Then after using my smelling salts, I awoke to a 6-3 final.  Wow.  Three FGs.  And I thought Dancing with the Stars was dull.

The Good Ole Days

Is that Detroit losing another game?  That’s great news for us Bears fans.  Mathews looked human, but somehow Megatron still looked like a super hero. 

How is it that I have Felix Jones (out) and the guy I’m playing picks ahead of me on the waivers this week.  He adds Demarco Murray before I can grab him, and Murray proceeds to break Emmit Smith’s single game rushing record?  30+ points!  I don’t like you football gods.

Is Tim Tebow for real, or was that simply a colossal defensive collapse by Miami?  I’m going with the latter.

Did anyone pick The Jets?  San Diego has a 6 foot 5 weapon in Vincent Jackson, and he had ONE catch for 15 yards.  I know Reevis is good, but ONE CATCH?  My goodness.  And has anyone seen Ryan Mathews?    At least Antonio Gates has decided to play. 

Guess who was playing Arian Foster today??  You guessed it.  ME!  Arian Foster and DeMarco Murray...I can’t be the only one with bad luck out there right? 

Let’s talk briefly about Chris Johnson.  He rushed 10 times for 18 yards vs. the Houston Texans today.  Last Week Houston gave up more than 100 yards to Ray Rice.  Don’t get me wrong, Ray Rice is a really good RB.  But he’s supposed to be on-par with Chris Johnson.  Granted, Ray Rice had 23 carries, but EIGHTEEN YEARS?  1.8 yards per carry.  What the heck happened?  Confidence gone?  Scared to get hit for fear of losing that next giant payday?  At this rate, people in Tennessee are going to be calling for his head very soon. 

Rothlisberger had a heckuva day.  39 passing attempts.  361 yards and 3 TDs.  Nice.

On the other hand...

13 rushing attempts for Rashard Mendenhall...for 32 yards.  My goodness.  As a Pittsburgh fan, I have to say I’m done with Mendenhall.  This is not the first HORRIBLE game he’s put up.  He’s had 4 games with UNDER 50 yards this season, and only ONE with more than 100 yards.  He has 3 TDs this season, and he’s being stopped consistently by the likes of Seattle, Indy, Houston and now Arizona.  I think I’m pulling the cord on the Mendenhall bandwagon.  Ding.  This is my stop.

Here I am, trying to enjoy my football Sunday, and the KC / Oak game comes on.  This is an easy call.  Oakland may struggle a bit, but KC can’t do ANYTHING on offense.  I need to add a defense this weekend, so I’ll add Oakland.  McFadden, DHB, and now Carson Palmer?  This should be a route!  28-0 KC.  WTF?  McFadden gets hurt, the Oak QBs throw 6 ints...what a disaster.  I’m glad I put 12 confidence points on this game.  Kill me now.

Dallas looked good.  But you heard my problem with this game.  Other than that, it was as expected.  Dallas in a romp. 

How bad did I want Green Bay to lose?  Man!  I actually thought Minnesota might pull it off.  How good does Aaron Rogers look (AGAIN!)?  I was talking to a friend of mine, and he said Jay Cutler would be that good behind the GB line.  I don’t know.  at one point, maybe into the 3rd quarter, he was PERFECT!  13 attempts, and 13 completions.  The one that ruined the streak hit James Jones in the hands and bounced off.  I can’t believe Jay Cutler would look that good.  No one would.

Indy won 62 - 7?  My God!  That’s just sick.  Isn’t there an unwritten rule that you’re not supposed to run up the score on other professional coaches?  I guess Sean Payton was pissed about his leg and decided to shove it up Indy’s rectum.  I’m glad I passed on Brees this season.  Jeez!

Fantasy Football Musings: Week 6

By: Brian Waterkotte

Maybe it’s because I’m a Bears fan, but do there seem to be far more false start penalties this year than in recent years?

Detroit may be the reason for all those false starts.  Ford Field isn’t huge, but it fits a ton of people.  The noise there is so loud it makes a game hard to watch b/c of all the false starts the fans cause.  Damn Lions fans haven’t cheered in 18 years, so it’s all coming out this year.

Everybody’s complaining about how ugly the Packer’s 1920’s throw-back unis are; I like them!  I want one of those jerseys.

How about London Fletcher?  He’s about 5’9, and has been a line backer for fourteen years in the NFL.  Big time little guy

Wow!  How about Buffalo’s Freddie Jackson this season?  Most people took him as their third back, and he’s a top 3 RB this season.  He just ripped-off an 80 yard TD!  And I’m not sure the Giants laid a hand on him...that was all Freddie.

Man Arron Rodgers is amazing.  Not only does he have 4 TDs in the first half today, he’s getting himself out of sacks, throwing off the wrong foot, throwing across his body, and hitting all of the receivers on his team.  And he’s doing it every time he plays.  As a Bears fan, all I can say is SCREW GREEN BAY!  First I have to watch Brett Favre for 15 years, now I have to watch Arron Rogers for the next 15?  Jeez!

Wow, Sean Payton got rolled up on along the sidelines. He’s hurt bad.  Oh boy.  Torn MCL and broken tibia. YIKES!

I love that AJ Hawk flips off his own sideline after a sack. 

Wow, Hanson missed a 50 yard FG.  That doesn’t happen very often.  That’s a 6 point swing for someone!

What is Vince Young doing on the field?  Oh, he’s throwing interceptions! 

I didn’t finish typing that last sentence before Bad Rex threw it right back to the Eagles.  FOUR picks for Sexy Rexy and HE GONE!

Wow, is that another garbage time TD for the CINCY def?  Unreal.  I’m glad I added Cincy Def last week.  :)

The Steelers beat the Jags by 4.  The spread was 12.5.  As a Steelers fan, I’m not very encouraged by that victory.

HA HA HA!  LeShon McCoy gets a first down, jumps up and goes to give Andy Reid a pat on the belly, but hits him with his fist, and in slow motion Reid’s face exploded like he got hit with a cannon ball.  He doubled over in pain.  He was not ready for that shot.  Great comedy in the NFL.

Romo takes the field amidst talk of his making too many mistakes and proceeds to throw a pick on their first possession...hmmm.

I just saw something I’m not sure was correct.  I saw a stat that said the Bengals are 4-2 after that win.  That can’t be right can it?

Meanwhile, San Fran is 5-1!  What the heck is going on in the NFL?  Eagles are 2-4, and San Fran is 5-1?  The Lions are 5-1.  I was not expecting that!

That’s one of the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever seen:  Jim Harbaugh is so excited with the win, he’s jumping and yelling and Lions coach Jim Schwartz  doesn’t seem to like the shake and back slap from Harbaugh, and yells something at him, Harbaugh ignores him as he’s yelling and jumping away, so Schwartz proceeds to chase him down and yell more, Harbaugh stops, curses Schwartz out, and all hell breaks loose.  The teams converge, everyone’s pushing and shoving.  You’ll see this for the next week all over TV.  I say Harbaugh is fine.  He should have pulled it together a bit before shaking hands, but he didn’t talk smack.  He just kind of bounced by the coach, gave him a half-assed hand shake and back slap while running by, and I guess that stuff doesn’t fly in Detroit. Silly.

I’m trying to stay awake watching this Clev / Oak game.  I’d call it dull, but I wouldn’t want to insult dull. 

It’s funny, all I have to do it type that a game is dull,  and the next thing you know they’re pulling a fake punt and scoring a TD.  I’m like a football puppet master.  Let’s see if this works:   “the Bears will NEVER win the Superbowl this season”.

I’m glad I’m not a gambling man (ha!).  I had New Orleans KILLING Tampa Bay today.  They’re losing by 10.

Wow, Dez Bryant is fired up.  He’s hollering at all his teammates on the sidelines.  Dallas has the lead with 5 minutes left.  This is typically where they fall apart.  Take a ride on the Romo Coaster.

That New England win is 100% on Brady.  He made all the throws he needed to make to get the job done. Shocking really.  He is pushing for best ever. 

OK, I have a very serious Bears game to watch tonight. If the Bears lose to the Vikings, I’ll be very very disappointed.  My prediction:  Bears CRUSH the Vikings.  And Hester has two run backs for TDs.  BOOK IT!

Bu Bye.

The Somewhat Irreverent Musings of a Fantasy Football Addict

By: Brian Waterkotte

Week 5

Hello, Im Brian, Iʼm 40 years old, and Iʼm an addict. Itʼs Week 5 of the 2011-12 NFL season and as if I donʼt have enough to do, commissioning my league for the 16th year, and managing my other three teams, Iʼve decided to write a Fantasy Blog. I canʼt get enough.

Picture the scene: Iʼm in my basement, I have three TVs on (AFC game on the right, NFC on the left, and the Red Zone in the middle). Iʼve got my laptop on my desk with the dual monitor plugged in so I have all 4 fantasy games at a glance. Iʼve got my ice cold Heiniken bottle on my right, and my cheese dip to my left. Iʼm ready baby! LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

Each week, Iʼll watch all the games and hopefully have an interesting take on the things going on. Iʼll let you be the judge of that. Without further ado... (War & Peace: Volume 1)